Aisling Clifford, Partner at Coote Family Lawyers, explains how to negotiate the care arrangements of children when dealing with an uncooperative ex-partner.
In her article for Bounty Parents, Aisling explains that co-parenting can be tough for any separated couple, but it gets even harder with a combative ex-spouse.
Even for the most amicable exes, negotiating children's care arrangements can be difficult. If your ex-partner displays narcissistic traits, the path forward can be even rockier, as narcissistic personalities thrive on creating unnecessary conflict and drama.
Set clear boundaries (and set them early) with your co-parent
Setting boundaries and abiding by those boundaries is essential to ringfence bad behaviour.
For example, limit contact to matters related to children and family, set rules for handovers with children and define where and when you will interact with your ex in person.
Formalise your agreement
Create a formal agreement that records the agreed terms that you have reached with your ex. Formal agreements can include a parenting plan or consent orders.
Both documents set out the care arrangements for your children together with the necessary details to create clear guidelines for contact and communication. Speak with your lawyer to identify which type of agreement best suits your circumstances.
Don't get sucked into their drama
Individuals with high-conflict personalities will often attempt to create drama to keep you engaged and maintain the upper hand.
These behaviours can take many forms. For example, they might play the victim, tell lies, gaslight you, or badmouth you to others. Ultimately, their goal is to control or manipulate you.
While it's tempting to want to defend yourself, reacting will likely only serve to fuel the situation. It also has the potential to distract you from what's most important, priopritising your and your children's needs.
Prioritise the children's needs
Separaration and divorce are tough for the whole family, especially children who may struggtle with the changes.
Create a consistent, predictable environment. Even while managing difficult personalities and enforcing boundaries, this approach will help your family recover and thrive.
You can read the full article that was published in Bounty Parents here: ‘How to successfully co-parent with a difficult ex’
If you need any advice or assistance please call our team of top Melbourne family lawyers on 03 9840 0035
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