Speaking with the Herald Sun, Annelis Bos, Partner at Coote Family Lawyers, shares the important conversations couples should have before moving in together.

One of the great milestones of a committed, happy relationship is taking up residence together under the same roof, but rushing into domestic bliss without having the right conversations can sometimes do more harm than good.

The most important conversation to have

We've long been conditioned to believe that conversations about our finances should be reserved only for our accountants once a year at tax time.  But talking openly about our salaries, expeneses and financial goals with our partners is a crucial sign of commitment and maturity.

Ensure you’re aligned and have a clear understanding of how you plan to share (or not share) money, as well as your approach to spending and saving. For example, will you keep your finances separate or combine them, and how will you manage expenses and savings?” Annelis Bos says.

“Couples often move in together with an idealistic view of money management, so it’s essential to discuss "what if" scenarios and have contingency plans in place. For instance, while keeping finances separate may seem like the best option at first, it can become complicated if you decide to have children, if one partner loses their job, or if someone becomes unwell and unable to work,” explains Bos.

“It’s important to evaluate hypothetical scenarios to ensure that both you and your partner have aligned expectations regarding finances and money management.”

As a general measure, Bos recommends couples rent together for a year or so before committing to a mortgage or merging finances completely, “This way they can know what it's like to live together before making bigger decisions,” she says.

When is the right time to talk about salaries, spending and saving?

According to Bos, if your relationship feels serious enough to warrant a shared lease, then having thorough and honest conversations about your future expectations, and having a clear understanding and agreement about how adversity or unforeseen circumstances will be managed is crucial.

“It’s important to start discussing finances as soon as you move in together, or even before. If you move in without having these discussions, each person tends to act based on their own assumptions – and assumptions can lead to major issues,” she says.

“When couples first move in together, there's often a honeymoon phase where people overlook things they're not entirely happy with, just to keep the peace. If these issues aren’t addressed from the start, they can turn into deep-rooted disputes.

“For example, one partner might become frustrated about paying the mortgage on their own, despite never having agreed to this, simply because the topic was never discussed. Once you're already living together, there are certain topics that may be a little too late to address,” Bos explains.

You can read the full article that was published in the Herald Sun here:  "Conversations you need to have before moving in with your partner".

If you have any questions or concerns about your relationship call 03 9804 0035 to speak with one of or family law specialists today.

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